College Buddy Gifts

'I was given a ton of great career advice when I graduated from college. Unfortunately, I can't remember any of it because my entire brain is filled with passwords and PIN numbers.'

No.1 best-selling book on college campuses - 'How to say 'send money' in 101 languages'.

"And before leaving virtual class today be sure and hit that like button!"

"It was a surprise. The college alumni solicitation letters never stop, even here!"

"I swear I'm still a liberal arts major! The chain supply management courses are merely an academic curiosity."

'Here's to vague college memories that keep 3 old guys without much in common anymore sharing a drink once a year.'

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

Starving Philosophy student grappling with the question of the toast in the machine.

'I'm giving you extra marks for the six pack.' - Dr. Jeckyl , the College Years.

'I'm writing my dissertation on Latte Sizes.'

'I gave you permission to Skype my class, not skip it.'

'Gee, maybe there was something wrong with this college.'

Cronies reunited.

The morning after the night before.

'I believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the tooth fairy and double-ribbed condoms.'

'Don't worry. No one else knows what they are doing either.'

'If we hurry (hic) we might get home in time to get up.'

"You changed man, it used to be all about the chirping..."

'You wouldn't think 30 years ago when we first met Stanley was the leader of the pack.'

'I'll pause for your moans and groans.'

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

'Where are all these alien abductors when you need them?'

To: Rudy Park. From: Lemont Brown. Hey Rudy, it's me. Long time no talk. How are you these days? Lemont? From Berkeley? Tap tap tap tap. Yeah. Man … Putnam Hall 1993. Those were the days. What ever happened to our roommate Ken? Tap tap tap tap tap tap. Divided Airlines. Divided Airlines. You know, that freak who was always writing articles about "news" and junk for the school paper ... That MORON who didn't know a Gameboy from a GameGear ... That big baby whose mommy was always calling to check

"It's me, Jess from college. I hang-glided into a mountainside earlier and for some reason I'd really like to chase a frisbee right now."

"I'd like to propose a bill to the effect that we can remain freshmen indefinitely."

"Check it out, bro - this pneumatic tub pipes us from the frat to Wallstreet."

Bro of Frankenstein

Pizza Initiation

"I went on spring break a boy and came back an alcoholic."

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

Boy and girl at thier studies

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.