Friend From College Gifts

Yakademic: An academic who has been describing their research since they were asked about it over 20 minutes ago.

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

'Don't worry. No one else knows what they are doing either.'

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

'If history keeps repeating itself, why do I have to repeat this class?'

'Your thesis on 'how to keep warm in winter'? Interesting.'

'You have failed on all counts...'

'Yes, your papers seem to have lots of citations, but I've checked: They're all self-citations...'

"IBS isn't all bad. It was largely responsible for me winning 6 sprinting medals in college track."

Dear folks. Well, you were right; being the prettiest gator of the Everglades hasn't helped me one bit.'

Bro of Frankenstein

"I've decided to major in engineering...college loan debt restructuring."

"Meanwhile in Dogtown... Put your tongue back in your mouth. And pull up your pants. That’s not what your mom said last night."

"Sorry, had to barf real quick... so where were we?"

"And before leaving virtual class today be sure and hit that like button!"

Starving Philosophy student grappling with the question of the toast in the machine.

"I didn't know you could do worse than an F. When did they start handing out poop emojis?"

'I'll pause for your moans and groans.'

"I can't believe it! In all my years in corporate business, yours must be the worst case of paper cuts I have ever seen."

Popular college book: How to say 'Send money' in 101 languages.

"I love college."

The morning after the night before.

"I got the highest grade in the class, except the giraffe."

Room-mate Homicides Waiting to Happen. . .

"When you sit down, you get a shock. Open a book, you get a shock. Write something, another shock. It's a typical psychology class."

Enrollment limited to college varsity athletes.

If you know that you would benefit from a 15 minute nap during the day, do your best to take one.

"Surely, as the world's only superpower, we're entitled to a little mischief now and then."

'I'm giving you extra marks for the six pack.' - Dr. Jeckyl , the College Years.