Friend Who Is A Student Gifts

Popular college book: How to say 'Send money' in 101 languages.

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

'If history keeps repeating itself, why do I have to repeat this class?'

'Your thesis on 'how to keep warm in winter'? Interesting.'

'You have failed on all counts...'

'Yes, your papers seem to have lots of citations, but I've checked: They're all self-citations...'

"IBS isn't all bad. It was largely responsible for me winning 6 sprinting medals in college track."

"Yes, Donald, I know you didn't expect a test today... that's why it's called a pop quiz!"

Dear folks. Well, you were right; being the prettiest gator of the Everglades hasn't helped me one bit.'

Teacher's pet dog

"I've decided to major in engineering...college loan debt restructuring."

"Sorry, had to barf real quick... so where were we?"

"Meanwhile in Dogtown... Put your tongue back in your mouth. And pull up your pants. That’s not what your mom said last night."

"And before leaving virtual class today be sure and hit that like button!"

"I didn't know you could do worse than an F. When did they start handing out poop emojis?"

'I'm bright enough. I just don't have the right connections.'

"I love college."

"I got the highest grade in the class, except the giraffe."

"When you sit down, you get a shock. Open a book, you get a shock. Write something, another shock. It's a typical psychology class."

Room-mate Homicides Waiting to Happen. . .

Enrollment limited to college varsity athletes.

"Surely, as the world's only superpower, we're entitled to a little mischief now and then."

'You have to lose weight. Stop having intimate dinners for two, when you are not expecting anyone to join you.'

'It has cut down on note-passing, glancing at fellow students' test papers and spitballs.'

"And if you look to the right you'll see what happens if you disrupt my class."

'Teachers' Dreams.''Did you just say F***? Care to repeat it so everyone can hear you or is even a four letter word beyond your abilities? ... And the state expects me to make you multisyllabic.'

Awesome. Now let's try this with bottles.

'There are ten questions on this quiz. Each is worth 20 points.'

"'I'm checking my answers."

Yakademic: An academic who has been describing their research since they were asked about it over 20 minutes ago.