Friend In School Gifts

"Before you take my phone away, can I tweet that you're taking my phone away?"

'If history keeps repeating itself, why do I have to repeat this class?'

Unable to raise enough money for a trip to Paris, the Bartlesville High French Club had to settle for three days in Tulsa.

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

Zoology Class. Test Today. What did you get for the question about Fuzzy Wuzzy?

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

'I got 100 in school today. 50 in history and 50 in maths.'

Yearbook

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

Big Bang Theory.

"Excuse me, Professor. I think I might have spotted a flaw in your theory!"

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.

'I didn't think of it as someone else writing my term paper, I thought of it more as a guest blogger situation.'

"Professor, we need you to stop. The Student Union has decided that the earth is flat."

'I need to read five books this weekend to graduate - any suggestions?'

'I chose my field on what would put the most impressive initials after my name.'

'Everyone's true personality comes out on dress-down Fridays, even the boss's.'

Humanities 101. I hear you're reading Greek plays in there. Yeah, it's a real Medea blitz!

Big Rock University. Guidance Counselor. I'd like to switch my major from hunting to gathering!

'Hey, man, cool shirt.'

"This is the fourth student who bubbled in Y-O-U-R N-A-M-E when I told the class to 'bubble in your name'!"

"We've invented a new word!"

"So, to sum up, I would like to say that Shakespeare is an awesome genius in the same category as Albert Einstein and Jerry Garcia."

'This part was tenure.'

'Your thesis on 'how to keep warm in winter'? Interesting.'

Spring To Do List: Teach, Testing, Testing,Test Some More. . .

'You have failed on all counts...'

'I reckon we have grounds for a libel action, don't you?.'

Man, Lemont … how long's it been? Twenty years? Just about. You still working at Pigville Pork Burgers? Nah … I got a job as the Candorville Chronicles White House correspondent. Then I went on to found Candorville.com, the internet's seventh largest source for news and opinion. Oh. That's cool. That's cool. How do you not know this? We're Facebook friends. I post links to my articles every day. We were roommates all through college, and you don't even read my updates? Facebook's for reading yo

'Where Are They Now?'

Buddhist photo albums,