Friend Studying Education Gifts

'It has cut down on note-passing, glancing at fellow students' test papers and spitballs.'

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

Boy and girl at thier studies

'Don't worry. No one else knows what they are doing either.'

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

'We'd like to form a support group for homework anxiety.'

Big Rock University. Guidance Counselor. I'd like to switch my major from hunting to gathering!

'If history keeps repeating itself, why do I have to repeat this class?'

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

'This part was tenure.'

Spring To Do List: Teach, Testing, Testing,Test Some More. . .

'Your thesis on 'how to keep warm in winter'? Interesting.'

'You have failed on all counts...'

Man, Lemont … how long's it been? Twenty years? Just about. You still working at Pigville Pork Burgers? Nah … I got a job as the Candorville Chronicles White House correspondent. Then I went on to found Candorville.com, the internet's seventh largest source for news and opinion. Oh. That's cool. That's cool. How do you not know this? We're Facebook friends. I post links to my articles every day. We were roommates all through college, and you don't even read my updates? Facebook's for reading yo

'Yes, your papers seem to have lots of citations, but I've checked: They're all self-citations...'

'They say my tests are too hard. Maybe I should switch from Essay to Connect-the-Dot.'

"I was a primary school teacher. What did you do?"

Bro of Frankenstein

"Yes, Donald, I know you didn't expect a test today... that's why it's called a pop quiz!"

"I've decided to major in engineering...college loan debt restructuring."

"I don't like a school year that begins with 'while you were out'."

Teacher's pet dog

"Meanwhile in Dogtown... Put your tongue back in your mouth. And pull up your pants. That’s not what your mom said last night."

"Sorry, had to barf real quick... so where were we?"

"IBS isn't all bad. It was largely responsible for me winning 6 sprinting medals in college track."

Dear folks. Well, you were right; being the prettiest gator of the Everglades hasn't helped me one bit.'

"And before leaving virtual class today be sure and hit that like button!"

'Here's another email from a parent, written in lower case with no punctuation and seventeen spelling errors, demanding we do a better job of teaching social skills.'

Starving Philosophy student grappling with the question of the toast in the machine.

"Tell me again how many young minds I will have shaped by the end of my teaching career."

"I didn't know you could do worse than an F. When did they start handing out poop emojis?"