Friend Involved In Education Gifts

'For today's civics lesson, look outside the window, where there's a peaceful demonstration against union-busting.'

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

'If history keeps repeating itself, why do I have to repeat this class?'

Big Rock University. Guidance Counselor. I'd like to switch my major from hunting to gathering!

'This part was tenure.'

Spring To Do List: Teach, Testing, Testing,Test Some More. . .

'Your thesis on 'how to keep warm in winter'? Interesting.'

'You have failed on all counts...'

Man, Lemont … how long's it been? Twenty years? Just about. You still working at Pigville Pork Burgers? Nah … I got a job as the Candorville Chronicles White House correspondent. Then I went on to found Candorville.com, the internet's seventh largest source for news and opinion. Oh. That's cool. That's cool. How do you not know this? We're Facebook friends. I post links to my articles every day. We were roommates all through college, and you don't even read my updates? Facebook's for reading yo

King Trump

'Yes, your papers seem to have lots of citations, but I've checked: They're all self-citations...'

'They say my tests are too hard. Maybe I should switch from Essay to Connect-the-Dot.'

"I was a primary school teacher. What did you do?"

"Yes, Donald, I know you didn't expect a test today... that's why it's called a pop quiz!"

Dear folks. Well, you were right; being the prettiest gator of the Everglades hasn't helped me one bit.'

Teacher's pet dog

"These brisk fall afternoons remind me of Chekhov, which reminds me of Putin, then Trump, the alt-right, facism, nuclear weapons ... let's go home."

"Meanwhile in Dogtown... Put your tongue back in your mouth. And pull up your pants. That’s not what your mom said last night."

"IBS isn't all bad. It was largely responsible for me winning 6 sprinting medals in college track."

"Sorry, had to barf real quick... so where were we?"

"I don't like a school year that begins with 'while you were out'."

"And before leaving virtual class today be sure and hit that like button!"

'Here's another email from a parent, written in lower case with no punctuation and seventeen spelling errors, demanding we do a better job of teaching social skills.'

"I didn't know you could do worse than an F. When did they start handing out poop emojis?"

"Tell me again how many young minds I will have shaped by the end of my teaching career."

Principal to teacher with trap door below her desk: 'The board thinks people teach better under pressure.'

"Virginia Woolf meets 'Car Talk.'"

Room-mate Homicides Waiting to Happen. . .

'No Mis Evans. You know only substitute teachers are allowed to carry taser guns!'

Enrollment limited to college varsity athletes.

'I was going to teach them the meaning of life ... but it wasn't on the test.'