School Buddy Gifts

At the Class of 1980 shape reunion - 'OMG, look at the old square Doris ended up with!'

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"

Boy and girl at thier studies

'Don't worry. No one else knows what they are doing either.'

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

'As I walk through the halls, I see teachers teaching and students learning and I say to myself, 'what wonderful school, what a wonderful world.''

'We'd like to form a support group for homework anxiety.'

'Hey, man, cool shirt.'

'If history keeps repeating itself, why do I have to repeat this class?'

'This part was tenure.'

Burning the midnight oil.

Spring To Do List: Teach, Testing, Testing,Test Some More. . .

'Your thesis on 'how to keep warm in winter'? Interesting.'

'I reckon we have grounds for a libel action, don't you?.'

Child writes letter to Santa reading 'Sorry Santa, I DO want to go to school'.

'Yes, your papers seem to have lots of citations, but I've checked: They're all self-citations...'

'Thank you for not guessing.'

"Well, I can't figure it out either. Do we know anyone that can help us with math homework?"

'They say my tests are too hard. Maybe I should switch from Essay to Connect-the-Dot.'

'First semester, you learn the numbers. Second semester, you use them to count the days 'til school is out.'

"I was a primary school teacher. What did you do?"

"And today children, Homer is going to show us his 'pressed fly and bug collection'."

Bro of Frankenstein

"I don't need your help with my homework. Actually, I was a little disappointed with your work last time."

"I don't like a school year that begins with 'while you were out'."

"And before leaving virtual class today be sure and hit that like button!"

'Here's another email from a parent, written in lower case with no punctuation and seventeen spelling errors, demanding we do a better job of teaching social skills.'

Starving Philosophy student grappling with the question of the toast in the machine.

"I didn't know you could do worse than an F. When did they start handing out poop emojis?"

Pizza Study Party

"Tell me again how many young minds I will have shaped by the end of my teaching career."

'I'll pause for your moans and groans.'