College Mate Gifts

"Dude, you totally passed out."

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

Zoology Class. Test Today. What did you get for the question about Fuzzy Wuzzy?

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

'I got 100 in school today. 50 in history and 50 in maths.'

'Don't worry. No one else knows what they are doing either.'

Yearbook

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

Big Bang Theory.

"Excuse me, Professor. I think I might have spotted a flaw in your theory!"

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.

'I didn't think of it as someone else writing my term paper, I thought of it more as a guest blogger situation.'

"Professor, we need you to stop. The Student Union has decided that the earth is flat."

'I need to read five books this weekend to graduate - any suggestions?'

Humanities 101. I hear you're reading Greek plays in there. Yeah, it's a real Medea blitz!

'Hey, man, cool shirt.'

"This is the fourth student who bubbled in Y-O-U-R N-A-M-E when I told the class to 'bubble in your name'!"

"We've invented a new word!"

"So, to sum up, I would like to say that Shakespeare is an awesome genius in the same category as Albert Einstein and Jerry Garcia."

'I chose my field on what would put the most impressive initials after my name.'

Big Rock University. Guidance Counselor. I'd like to switch my major from hunting to gathering!

'Your thesis on 'how to keep warm in winter'? Interesting.'

'John, I have to get going. Here's my views on politics, sports, and automobiles in case some of the boys come in later.'

'I reckon we have grounds for a libel action, don't you?.'

'You have failed on all counts...'

'Just for once, can't we have a picnic without your mates turning up to crawl all over the food?'

"Miss, I suck at playing the flute."