College Mate Pillows

"Dude, you totally passed out."

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

'I got 100 in school today. 50 in history and 50 in maths.'

Yearbook

'Don't worry. No one else knows what they are doing either.'

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.

"Excuse me, Professor. I think I might have spotted a flaw in your theory!"

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

'I didn't think of it as someone else writing my term paper, I thought of it more as a guest blogger situation.'

"Professor, we need you to stop. The Student Union has decided that the earth is flat."

'I need to read five books this weekend to graduate - any suggestions?'

"We've invented a new word!"

"This is the fourth student who bubbled in Y-O-U-R N-A-M-E when I told the class to 'bubble in your name'!"

'Hey, man, cool shirt.'

'I chose my field on what would put the most impressive initials after my name.'

'Your thesis on 'how to keep warm in winter'? Interesting.'

'John, I have to get going. Here's my views on politics, sports, and automobiles in case some of the boys come in later.'

'I reckon we have grounds for a libel action, don't you?.'

'You have failed on all counts...'

'I think the computer has a crush on me. It asked me to remain after class.'

"Miss, I suck at playing the flute."