Old School Friends Gifts

'Yes I think we did go to school together. Wasn't you the old headmistress?'

'Tracy is in a good mood today. She's met an old school friend who's fatter than her now.'

Class re-union - "You must remember Harry! He was the class hamster."

"I want you to hire that last applicant. I went to high school with him. Pay him double the usual salary. . . then fire him the day! Revenge is sweet!"

Albert & Myra - The End Story

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

'Remember me, Fred? I sat next to you in class and you said I'd never amount to anything.'

"I like New York, but I miss sleeping drunk on my front lawn."

"Everybody meets online these days."

"You're right, they are statins."

"'CPD'...stuff and nonsense, the old ways are fine for me, now pass me a hammer. I need to put this patient out!"

Man looking at greeting cards labeled "Apologies for not writing sooner" with sub-headings for different lengths of time.

"Same old crowd."

'Yes, old friend, we've traveled a long road, made a lot of stops, scooped up a lot of poop...'

'We,ve still got it,Fred-it's a pity they don't want it anymore!'

"Believe me, I didn't amass a billion dollar fortune just to impress you. But... it does, right?"

Who's Dead

Remember when?... When was that?

'Listen Mabel, you are 70, I am 75 and we have known each other since junior school. It's pure wishful thinking on your part if you claim I am 'grooming' you...'

Say, aren't you my old shop teacher who said I couldn't cut a straight line to save my life?

"Fusilli, you crazy bastard! How are you?"

'Well, as I live and breathe. If it isn't Rex Harris! I thought you were extinct.'

When Seniors Fly

"Yesterday I got in touch with a childhood friend!"

"Ha ha. You tell that one in every lifetime. Ha ha. It never gets old."

'Gus! Get over here and see what our tattoos used to look like!'

De Luxe Model - Cupholders.

"Long time no see!"

"Do you realize that we spend one-third of our lives in bed and the other two-thirds in here?"

"Drop by the next time you're in the eighties."

"Hey, Frankie, remember me? Summer of '88—we were twelve and you buried me up to my neck and left me to die."

'Pre Reunion Jitters' 'I've added a few minutes to that hour glass figure I had in high school.'

'Trade you my Doggie Cola for tour Toilet Water Drink Box.'