Old Classmates Gifts

'Pre Reunion Jitters' 'I've added a few minutes to that hour glass figure I had in high school.'

"I always enjoy these school re-unions"

'Andy! That's my 4th grade teacher, Mrs. Werfel. You've got to wait on her for me. I'm too embarrassed.' - 'Is it because your a sales clerk or because you were late for class again yesterday.'

'Remember me, Fred? I sat next to you in class and you said I'd never amount to anything.'

Say, aren't you my old shop teacher who said I couldn't cut a straight line to save my life?

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

Zoology Class. Test Today. What did you get for the question about Fuzzy Wuzzy?

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

This is a 'text book' it's a bit like a website but printed on paper.

'I got 100 in school today. 50 in history and 50 in maths.'

Yearbook

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

"Excuse me, Professor. I think I might have spotted a flaw in your theory!"

Big Bang Theory.

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.

'Kids, today, Xerf brought in a planet that he found. Now if we look at it closely under the microscope, you can still see it's inhabitants scrambling around.'

'I didn't think of it as someone else writing my term paper, I thought of it more as a guest blogger situation.'

"Professor, we need you to stop. The Student Union has decided that the earth is flat."

'I prefer the term 'whistleblower' to tattletale.'

'I need to read five books this weekend to graduate - any suggestions?'

"So, to sum up, I would like to say that Shakespeare is an awesome genius in the same category as Albert Einstein and Jerry Garcia."

Humanities 101. I hear you're reading Greek plays in there. Yeah, it's a real Medea blitz!

"This is the fourth student who bubbled in Y-O-U-R N-A-M-E when I told the class to 'bubble in your name'!"

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

"We've invented a new word!"

'I chose my field on what would put the most impressive initials after my name.'

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

'Where Are They Now?'

Buddhist photo albums,

'I think the computer has a crush on me. It asked me to remain after class.'

"Miss, I suck at playing the flute."

"You're using the boogeyman as an excuse to shut me out."

'Thank you for not guessing.'

"I'm working part time, but I'm hoping that once I finish my master's they'll up my hours to full time."

"But you didn't say they had to make sense - you just told us to write a thousand words a day."