Old Classmates Gifts

'Pre Reunion Jitters' 'I've added a few minutes to that hour glass figure I had in high school.'

"I always enjoy these school re-unions"

'Andy! That's my 4th grade teacher, Mrs. Werfel. You've got to wait on her for me. I'm too embarrassed.' - 'Is it because your a sales clerk or because you were late for class again yesterday.'

'Remember me, Fred? I sat next to you in class and you said I'd never amount to anything.'

Say, aren't you my old shop teacher who said I couldn't cut a straight line to save my life?

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

This is a 'text book' it's a bit like a website but printed on paper.

'I got 100 in school today. 50 in history and 50 in maths.'

Yearbook

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.

"Excuse me, Professor. I think I might have spotted a flaw in your theory!"

'Kids, today, Xerf brought in a planet that he found. Now if we look at it closely under the microscope, you can still see it's inhabitants scrambling around.'

'I didn't think of it as someone else writing my term paper, I thought of it more as a guest blogger situation.'

"Professor, we need you to stop. The Student Union has decided that the earth is flat."

'I prefer the term 'whistleblower' to tattletale.'

'I need to read five books this weekend to graduate - any suggestions?'

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

'I chose my field on what would put the most impressive initials after my name.'

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

"This is the fourth student who bubbled in Y-O-U-R N-A-M-E when I told the class to 'bubble in your name'!"

"We've invented a new word!"

Buddhist photo albums,

"You're using the boogeyman as an excuse to shut me out."

'Where Are They Now?'

'I think the computer has a crush on me. It asked me to remain after class.'

"Miss, I suck at playing the flute."

"I'm working part time, but I'm hoping that once I finish my master's they'll up my hours to full time."

'Thank you for not guessing.'

"The success of the guillotine helped it's inventor get ahead...let me rephrase that..."

'Yes I think we did go to school together. Wasn't you the old headmistress?'

"But you didn't say they had to make sense - you just told us to write a thousand words a day."

'Columbus might not have sailed over the edge, but I did.'

'I think Benjamin like me. He linked my homepage to his homepage.'