Old Schoolmate Gifts

'Basher Jones, isn't it? The school bully!'

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

'I got 100 in school today. 50 in history and 50 in maths.'

Yearbook

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

'Kids, today, Xerf brought in a planet that he found. Now if we look at it closely under the microscope, you can still see it's inhabitants scrambling around.'

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.

"Excuse me, Professor. I think I might have spotted a flaw in your theory!"

'I didn't think of it as someone else writing my term paper, I thought of it more as a guest blogger situation.'

'I prefer the term 'whistleblower' to tattletale.'

"Professor, we need you to stop. The Student Union has decided that the earth is flat."

'I need to read five books this weekend to graduate - any suggestions?'

'I chose my field on what would put the most impressive initials after my name.'

"We've invented a new word!"

'Hey, man, cool shirt.'

'If history keeps repeating itself, why do I have to repeat this class?'

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

"This is the fourth student who bubbled in Y-O-U-R N-A-M-E when I told the class to 'bubble in your name'!"

'I reckon we have grounds for a libel action, don't you?.'

"Miss, I suck at playing the flute."

"I like New York, but I miss sleeping drunk on my front lawn."

'Where Are They Now?'

'Remember me, Fred? I sat next to you in class and you said I'd never amount to anything.'

"You're using the boogeyman as an excuse to shut me out."

Buddhist photo albums,

'I think the computer has a crush on me. It asked me to remain after class.'

"I'm working part time, but I'm hoping that once I finish my master's they'll up my hours to full time."

'Thank you for not guessing.'