Former Classmates Gifts

'No, that's my photo above the caption: 'Student most likely to succeed'.'

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

'I got 100 in school today. 50 in history and 50 in maths.'

Yearbook

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.

"Excuse me, Professor. I think I might have spotted a flaw in your theory!"

'Kids, today, Xerf brought in a planet that he found. Now if we look at it closely under the microscope, you can still see it's inhabitants scrambling around.'

'I didn't think of it as someone else writing my term paper, I thought of it more as a guest blogger situation.'

'I prefer the term 'whistleblower' to tattletale.'

"Professor, we need you to stop. The Student Union has decided that the earth is flat."

'I need to read five books this weekend to graduate - any suggestions?'

'Hey, man, cool shirt.'

"We've invented a new word!"

"This is the fourth student who bubbled in Y-O-U-R N-A-M-E when I told the class to 'bubble in your name'!"

'I chose my field on what would put the most impressive initials after my name.'

Happy Retirement

'I reckon we have grounds for a libel action, don't you?.'

"You're using the boogeyman as an excuse to shut me out."

"Miss, I suck at playing the flute."

'Remember me, Fred? I sat next to you in class and you said I'd never amount to anything.'

'Where Are They Now?'

'I think the computer has a crush on me. It asked me to remain after class.'

Buddhist photo albums,

"I'm working part time, but I'm hoping that once I finish my master's they'll up my hours to full time."

'Thank you for not guessing.'

'Columbus might not have sailed over the edge, but I did.'

'Yes I think we did go to school together. Wasn't you the old headmistress?'

"But you didn't say they had to make sense - you just told us to write a thousand words a day."

"The success of the guillotine helped it's inventor get ahead...let me rephrase that..."