Classmates Gifts

'I prefer the term 'whistleblower' to tattletale.'

"Could you hold for a second? It's Call Waiting."

The students of boa junior high suddenly realized that a year end field trip to the amusement park probably wasn't such a good idea

'Kids, today, Xerf brought in a planet that he found. Now if we look at it closely under the microscope, you can still see it's inhabitants scrambling around.'

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

James Bond in a Snow Globe

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

International Women's Day

'Look, you can only do so much!'

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

"Helen brings home our second, third and fourth incomes."

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

Colour Version: Living by the Clock

Boss's Desk Says No!

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

Doug had trouble getting home at a decent hour.

Sometimes he just stood back and admired the breathtaking scenery of his life.

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

"Meet The Author"

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

Can do...No can do

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'