Old Acquaintances Gifts

'Listen Mabel, you are 70, I am 75 and we have known each other since junior school. It's pure wishful thinking on your part if you claim I am 'grooming' you...'

Albert & Myra - The End Story

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

Which vaccines did they have when you were young? You cannot get under my skin, loser. Were you vaccinated against the black plague? Not bothering me. Were you vaccinated against leprosy? I am unaffected by you. Were you vaccinated against the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs? Munch mun - When's the last time someone shoved a syrupy pancake down your pants?

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

Man, Lemont … how long's it been? Twenty years? Just about. You still working at Pigville Pork Burgers? Nah … I got a job as the Candorville Chronicles White House correspondent. Then I went on to found Candorville.com, the internet's seventh largest source for news and opinion. Oh. That's cool. That's cool. How do you not know this? We're Facebook friends. I post links to my articles every day. We were roommates all through college, and you don't even read my updates? Facebook's for reading yo

'Remember me, Fred? I sat next to you in class and you said I'd never amount to anything.'

"I like New York, but I miss sleeping drunk on my front lawn."

"You're right, they are statins."

'Yes I think we did go to school together. Wasn't you the old headmistress?'

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

Man looking at greeting cards labeled "Apologies for not writing sooner" with sub-headings for different lengths of time.

Pensioners run riot on mobility scooters.

'We,ve still got it,Fred-it's a pity they don't want it anymore!'

"Same old crowd."

Say, aren't you my old shop teacher who said I couldn't cut a straight line to save my life?

Who's Dead

"Believe me, I didn't amass a billion dollar fortune just to impress you. But... it does, right?"

'Yes, old friend, we've traveled a long road, made a lot of stops, scooped up a lot of poop...'

Chairs - a bar where everybody has a seat!

'So much for the great UNKNOWN campground.'

'The three essentials for any wine are terroir, the producer and how envious it makes your guests.'

Remember when?... When was that?

"Fusilli, you crazy bastard! How are you?"

'Well, as I live and breathe. If it isn't Rex Harris! I thought you were extinct.'

"Ha ha. You tell that one in every lifetime. Ha ha. It never gets old."

When Seniors Fly

"Yesterday I got in touch with a childhood friend!"

"Long time no see!"

'Of course I remember you-Tomkins,the Peter Pan of the Lower 4th!'

"I found my old college classmates and my college uncovered my old tuition loans!"

"Nope. Sometimes I drink water just to confuse my liver."

"Drop by the next time you're in the eighties."

"Hey, Frankie, remember me? Summer of '88—we were twelve and you buried me up to my neck and left me to die."

De Luxe Model - Cupholders.