Old Acquaintances Pillows

'Listen Mabel, you are 70, I am 75 and we have known each other since junior school. It's pure wishful thinking on your part if you claim I am 'grooming' you...'

Albert & Myra - The End Story

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

"I like New York, but I miss sleeping drunk on my front lawn."

'Remember me, Fred? I sat next to you in class and you said I'd never amount to anything.'

"You're right, they are statins."

'Yes I think we did go to school together. Wasn't you the old headmistress?'

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

Man looking at greeting cards labeled "Apologies for not writing sooner" with sub-headings for different lengths of time.

Pensioners run riot on mobility scooters.

Who's Dead

"Believe me, I didn't amass a billion dollar fortune just to impress you. But... it does, right?"

'So much for the great UNKNOWN campground.'

Chairs - a bar where everybody has a seat!

'The three essentials for any wine are terroir, the producer and how envious it makes your guests.'

Say, aren't you my old shop teacher who said I couldn't cut a straight line to save my life?

'Yes, old friend, we've traveled a long road, made a lot of stops, scooped up a lot of poop...'

Remember when?... When was that?

"Same old crowd."

'We,ve still got it,Fred-it's a pity they don't want it anymore!'

"Fusilli, you crazy bastard! How are you?"

'Well, as I live and breathe. If it isn't Rex Harris! I thought you were extinct.'

"Yesterday I got in touch with a childhood friend!"

When Seniors Fly

"Ha ha. You tell that one in every lifetime. Ha ha. It never gets old."

"Nope. Sometimes I drink water just to confuse my liver."

"Drop by the next time you're in the eighties."

'Stop worrying, he said he's bring his new friend he's met recently.'

De Luxe Model - Cupholders.

"Hey, Frankie, remember me? Summer of '88—we were twelve and you buried me up to my neck and left me to die."

"Long time no see!"