Novelty Naysayer Gifts

'I love this room, so many happy memories of killing innovation..'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

Valuable business advice from some famous disruptive technologies.

"We used up our planet's energy source and we're here to hijack yours. Where do you keep all your coffee?"

Traditional vs alternative medicine.

'You sure complain a lot for someone who says he loves nature.'

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"Well you said you wanted a simple, cheap solution!" (IT Solutions).

The anti-social network: 'Hey Jeffrey...I need help setting up my dad's anti-social network.'

'Dear sir, thank you for your idea of a helicopter ejection-seat, but...'

"He's our new trend-spotter?"

"Well, by that logic no one would ever shave a clock onto a monkey."

"My kid could have done that with AI."

"I don't care if it does have wifi. . . it's a vegetable peeler!"

"Now, you show me yours"

Go Back to New York

"They hired a cat to distract them from thoughts of change."

'It isn't that we don't have high technology. We don't have any technology.'

"To give it credibility let's tell the boss we stole our business idea from the Japanese instead of thinking it up ourselves!"

Brighton boatman offering the hire of a pleasure boat on a very cold day

iPhone: Leading Our Grand March Into Mass Mediocrity

'You and your aversion to needles!'

God is dead.

'Appleby believes he's come up with a way to defeat facial recognition software.'

Not a happy camper.

'You had to get shots? I couldn't stand that. I hate needles!'

'You name it - we do it: charges, clusters colliders, computers conductors, fluids, novals, sonics and strings.'

One more question, Lance

'Sorry we're late, we had a bit of trouble finding you.'

'One day, this will make a wonderful metaphor.'

'I said my first no today...'

"My wife is a doctor. That's great because I can endure the TV news only under general anesthesia."

'I told you that thing would mess up the environment!'

'Tell the Nielsen people I'm channel hopping, and let it go at that.'

'He's extremely valuable to us - never comes up with anything, which eliminates all the blind alleys.'