Nature Naysayer Gifts

Go Back to New York

'Fiends of the Earth'

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

A tourist watches a television on the back of a donkey

Traditional vs alternative medicine.

'You sure complain a lot for someone who says he loves nature.'

"I put my faith in coal. Because there’s no fuel like an old fuel."

The lunar landing of Appollo 11 is shown as a hoax filmed in a studio.

'No no!! Not that one... The BIG one on the top shelf!!'

"I think I might go outside. My fresh air app is glitchy today."

Supermarket Aisles: 'Good for the Environment' and 'Couldn't give a flying F@$#! about the environment!'

The anti-social network: 'Hey Jeffrey...I need help setting up my dad's anti-social network.'

"Sure, it's 'beautiful,' Ray, but where are the outlet stores?!"

"Son, one day all this will belong to your tax office, your economy-hating environmental wackos and your corrupt political clowns."

Frankenfood farms: pest-resistant, fresher-longer, who-knows-what produce.

Brighton boatman offering the hire of a pleasure boat on a very cold day

Carbon capture and storage

"Our carbon footprint has been very, very good to us."

'You and your aversion to needles!'

'I've got an idea. Why don't we just tack on the word 'natural' to our pesticide sprays?'

God is dead.

“The children claimed to love nature, even as they warmed themselves by roasting the dismembered limbs of the tree’s mother.”

'You had to get shots? I couldn't stand that. I hate needles!'

'One day, this will make a wonderful metaphor.'

'I said my first no today...'

"Je n'aime pas la nature!"

'Tell the Nielsen people I'm channel hopping, and let it go at that.'

"Did you send your editor the final pages of 'Organizing Your Life'?"

'What makes you think the boat sprung a leak?'

Yorkshire Water - "Time to take a leak Gentlemen ?"

"As a communist, my great-grandfather was subjected to hatred and discrimination. As a bourgeois-conservative smoker who drives a car with an internal combustion engine I continue this tradition."

Political Parties in Rival Tree Planting Pledges

'Well, Alfred Hitchcock, any more great ideas like the bird feeder for livening up the yard?'

"Thanks all the same, but I'm heading west."

"At the next intersection, turn whichever way you f#$%!^&* want! You never listen to me anyway!"