Notification Naysayer Gifts

One more question, Lance

Traditional vs alternative medicine.

'You sure complain a lot for someone who says he loves nature.'

The lunar landing of Appollo 11 is shown as a hoax filmed in a studio.

The anti-social network: 'Hey Jeffrey...I need help setting up my dad's anti-social network.'

"Companies know too much about us, listen...'You've earned 500 points and it's time you got back in touch with your cousin Emma'!"

"Opportunity came knocking once, but I missed it. I was expecting a tweet."

Go Back to New York

'You and your aversion to needles!'

Brighton boatman offering the hire of a pleasure boat on a very cold day

"Ugh, it rings every time an angel gets his wings - how do I put it in silent mode?"

God is dead.

Not a happy camper.

Hiding From Social Media

'You had to get shots? I couldn't stand that. I hate needles!'

"Hi. My name is Barry, and I check my E-mail two to three hundred times a day."

'One day, this will make a wonderful metaphor.'

'I said my first no today...'

Phone notifications which creep you out.

'Tell the Nielsen people I'm channel hopping, and let it go at that.'

"Did you send your editor the final pages of 'Organizing Your Life'?"

'What makes you think the boat sprung a leak?'

"Thanks all the same, but I'm heading west."

"I feel sh***y . . . yeah that didn't help."

"At the next intersection, turn whichever way you f#$%!^&* want! You never listen to me anyway!"

'He's reached his limit with Government health advice.'

"Math scares me so much I can't even add it to my list of anxieties."

"Let's just agree that they're dolphins, not sharks. I don't want to fall out with you."

I haven't seen you look at your Me-phone for five whole minutes. What gives? It's not what you think. I'm still important. I still get alerts every few seconds that remind me and everyone around me that I have things going on. It's just that my phone's charging right now. I swear. Well, I'll help you out in the meantime ... Alert: Constant alerts don't make you a "somebody," you loser! Thanks. That helps.

Syringe being bent by a tattoo of a knight in armour.

"I come to these get-togethers to see who's coming apart."

"There is an easier an less expensive way to turn off those annoying notifications..."

'Fiends of the Earth'

"I'm clearing all my offline notifications."

Iceberg Warning Sign