Notification Skeptic Gifts

"Companies know too much about us, listen...'You've earned 500 points and it's time you got back in touch with your cousin Emma'!"

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

Studies show foods work miracles!

CIA report

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

I.T. Fear

"That recruitment algorithm we’ve been using, I think we need to revisit it!"

'Tech stocks dropped on the finding that technology isn't neccessarily the best solution to everything.'

"And may I now introduce Professor Muckenspucker, who is an authority on artificial stupidity."

"Actually, yes, honey — I do believe 'Fox News' is an oxymoron."

"It looks like a perfectly balanced system to me."

Privacy Conference Security

'It was only 500 yds across but as he visualised the GPS blind spot the risks seemed immense.'

Suggestions box in a toilet.

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

Computer Class.

"I've edited your Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. You're about to be inundated with phone calls from the press." "Whatever, geek-boy." "You're now the world's foremost authority on Turkey leprosy, the disease that's threatening to ruin the holidays." "No one'll believe that." "Oh yeah? I wrote a Wikipedia page for Turkey leprosy, too, along with examples of all the historical figures it's killed, such as the Archduke of Crushistan." "There is no 'Crushistan.'" "I've written a Wikipedia entry for C

"The news is so fake, the ads are beginning to look honest."

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

Why do you hate the media?

GPS can still have a few bugs in the system.

'If I've learned anything, it's believe half of what's in the newspapers, and even less of what's in your e-mail.'

Privacy

"Our intelligencia said we will be outnumbered 100 to one, but that we can hope it's only fake news."

We need to see him because there's no satellite-based system to guide us on a trip down the path to enlightenment.

"He really hates all the fake news!!"

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

Classic News.

Censorship? We Don't Do That Here.

'How do we know the NSA hasn't hacked your naughty list?'

"We need to rethink our strategy of hoping the Internet will just go away."