Nirvana Gifts

"You shouldn't try for enlightenment if you are pregnant or may become pregnant."

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

The Lion, the witch and the flat-pack self-assembly wardrobe: lion and witch putting a wardrobe together.

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

'It's normal -- Enlightenment freaks a lot of people out.'

"Waiter, there's a hair in my soup!"

'It's normal -- Enlightenment freaks a lot of people out.'

"I love it when you quote my blog back to me."

'You know, if we had a bed and breakfast, we could use it ourselves!'

Angel's Food cake vs Devil's food cake.

Advanced Zen for Couch Potatoes: Earl becomes One with his Lazy-Boy.

The Meaning of Life/Tax Avoidance Advice.

'I warned him that this was no place for a guy with inner-ear problems.'

'I don't know - asceticism just doesn't seem like ENOUGH any more,'

'I just found out that our credit union is illusory!'

The Hummingbird

'This looks like the work of a surreal killer.'

'Yes, I know the Meaning of Life, but I've decided to franchise it!'

Be the grass...

Hipsters knit their beards.

'I've been up here almost a month now -- when do we get paid?'

'When the time comes, Goopta, I'd like to be bronzed.'

Olive Branch

'No, I heard you snoring -- you just dreamed that you attained Nirvana.'

'Egomania, you say? How on earth did you diagnose me so quickly?'

'Do you ever get the feeling that true inner peace is more darn trouble than it's worth?'

'That's right. I took all your money and didn't teach you a darn thing -- enlightening, isn't it?'

Late Night Buddha Call.

"Ugh, RMSNP, Dad. Read Me Some Narnia Please."

'I'd like to enlighten you, but what if you're just illusory?'

'I'm on my break right now -- can you come back next February?'

"It sure is -- It took me three reincarnations, to get UP here."