Nirvana Pursuer Gifts

'I'm trying to become enlightened, but my stomach keeps growling and interrupting me!'

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'She hasn't advanced to figure eights yet.'

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

A sturdy hand-hold against the vicissitudes of life: $1.00 per minute.

'Howard's doing things he's always wanted to with his redundancy money.'

'Yeah, the radiology job market is really hot right now - it's so hot I think I'm getting third degree burns! I gotta go!'

'Follow that cab!'

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

"Once more, with fury."

'It's normal -- Enlightenment freaks a lot of people out.'

"I'm running away to join the W.N.B.A."

'It's normal -- Enlightenment freaks a lot of people out.'

'You know, if we had a bed and breakfast, we could use it ourselves!'

'How do you propose to support my daughter on the earnings of a tooth fairy?'

Truthfully, I'm just a frustrated insurance agent …

The Meaning of Life/Tax Avoidance Advice.

'I warned him that this was no place for a guy with inner-ear problems.'

'I don't know - asceticism just doesn't seem like ENOUGH any more,'

'Bragging at the Old Physicists' & Old Writers' Home.'

I'm trying to figure out what drives you... A new company car would be nice.

'I just found out that our credit union is illusory!'

"I thought it was a breakthrough, but it was only a misplace decimal."

'Yes, I know the Meaning of Life, but I've decided to franchise it!'

Please use next mountain.

Mountain climber reaches summit and finds sign which reads: No ball games.

"Everest summit 1 km merge left"

CEO Incentives

'When the time comes, Goopta, I'd like to be bronzed.'

'No, I heard you snoring -- you just dreamed that you attained Nirvana.'

'I've been up here almost a month now -- when do we get paid?'

'Do you ever get the feeling that true inner peace is more darn trouble than it's worth?'

Late Night Buddha Call.