Nirvana Seeker Gifts

The Meaning of Life/Tax Avoidance Advice.

'Do you suppose it's possible to become TOO enlightened?'

'I'm afraid that I have to raise the rent.'

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

'Poor Goopta - He got lightning instead of enlightenment.'

"If you're still here, you're not enlightened yet."

"Good game."

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

Dead Funny

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

My God, I need to fart.

'The meaning of life is dog food.'

Tiny Visions

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

Zenemies.

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

"Needs to get a life"