Nirvana Quester Gifts

'Nobody's looking -- how about a third-eye opener?'

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

"An un-observed universe ceases to exist. Yeah right!"

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

"All right, pal, I'm just saying, that's what I'd do if it was my Large Hadron Collider."

'It's normal -- Enlightenment freaks a lot of people out.'

"It's an interdimensional portal that can facilitate travel across both space and time... but we mostly use it for storage."

'I was working on developing anti-matter under laboratory conditions, but I couldn't find anything to keep it in.'

'It's normal -- Enlightenment freaks a lot of people out.'

"We seem to be at that point where particle physics leaves of and theology begins."

'My God Pearson you're right. All these years the greates scientific minds have been looking for the theory of everything and all we had to do was Google it!'

"May I borrow your glasses so I can find my glasses?"

Time Travel Research Lab

'You know, if we had a bed and breakfast, we could use it ourselves!'

Advanced Zen for Couch Potatoes: Earl becomes One with his Lazy-Boy.

The Meaning of Life/Tax Avoidance Advice.

A person seeking truth walks on a treadmill.

'I warned him that this was no place for a guy with inner-ear problems.'

'I had laser eye surgery and I still can't find the remote.'

'Scientists claim they have found the 'God Particle'. In a related story, they are still looking for the 'Job Creator Particle'.'

'I don't know - asceticism just doesn't seem like ENOUGH any more,'

'So, there really is a Higgs Boson?'

"Dark energy's hard to detect because it's made from happiness."

'Newton's fourth law - physicists congregate periodically in obscure European cities to have their picture taken, and then they quickly disperse.

'I just found out that our credit union is illusory!'

'Why, thank you -- I made it out of a molehill.'

'Yes, I know the Meaning of Life, but I've decided to franchise it!'

'When the time comes, Goopta, I'd like to be bronzed.'

"Hello! - Have you ever thought about changing your energy supplier..?"