Nighttime Philosopher Gifts

"Ask not for whom the refrigerator hums..."

"Someday, son, a giant conglomerate will find a way to harness the moonlight and make us pay for it."

"It's too late to worry anymore tonight, I'll get up early tomorrow."

"I dreamed that I was mayor of a large American city."

"That's not the moon, you idiot ... it's a night light!"

"See, Timmy? No boogeymen under your bed — they're all out there."

"Honey, wake up. I had that dream again where I wake up and you get angry at me for waking you up."

That's a street lamp, Steve.

A man dreams of a snake

'If moths like light so much why do you never see them during the day?'

Sleep techniques for Shepherds and Sheep.

Thoughts of Stephen Harper...

It was the call of the wild. Or death. It was getting hard to tell them apart.

"Not only did I toss and turn all night, but for a brief period I wa a conservative, a libertarian, and, for about five minutes,, a socialist."

"The overthinker"

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

'That reminds me of the blind date I had last weekend!'

"I'm down to only one nap a day. From 8 am t0 8 pm."

"Well did he?"

"Think about the honey."

"Is this a bad time for our feedback meeting?"

"I believe in the carrot-and-stick approach, Dempsey."

"Let's go to sleep so that when we wake up today will be tomorrow."

"Goodnight, Dan, you handsome devil!"

'Mummy, can you please pull the curtain and make it dark please? I'm scared of the light...'

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

"I suppose you're wondering why I've summoned you here at 3 AM, minion." "I try not to wonder." "After crunching the numbers, I've determined we'd increase profits by being open 24/7." "We're in the suburbs. Everyone's asleep." "Not true. By being closed at 3 AM, we're missing out on the potentially-lucrative Igor the Wino clientele." "Go to the alley and give Igor a 1-for-the-price-of-2 coupon." "Very bad man."

'I ask myself-do I really want to sleep on the edge of the bed again?'

Everything opens up as a new day begins.

"I also have trouble sleeping. I don't understand why. No one I talk to seems to have any trouble falling asleep."

What are you doing up, mom? Big meeting tomorrow. Must be prepared. It's one a.m.! Go to bed, young lady. You need your sleep. It must be late. I heard my voice coming out of your mouth. Scary!

He's mumbling again! What do you think husbands dream about?

"You could always make me laugh but you didn't."

Tomorrow's another day, he thought, unless I get lucky and sleep right through it.

Expired, expired, expired, expired, expired, expired.