Late-night Philosopher Gifts

Insomnia

"I dreamed my parents were still alive."

"All my friends have either died or had a sex change."

"And remember, dear, if you want to know the time don't ask a policeman."

Let's not do anything you'll think was a good idea in the morning. !! !!

'Funny how the pub quiz champion can't tell what time it is'

'I'm not eating. I couldn't sleep so I decided to read.'

MAN OF THE YEAR, 'You must come here a lot.'

'It's 2 am. Do you know where you brain is?'

Sally woke up with a headache. This house didn't look familiar. There was a rug burn on her forehead. Three good reasons to quit drinking.

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

"The overthinker"

'That reminds me of the blind date I had last weekend!'

"Well did he?"

Night-shift entrance

"Think about the honey."

"Is this a bad time for our feedback meeting?"

"I believe in the carrot-and-stick approach, Dempsey."

'I ask myself-do I really want to sleep on the edge of the bed again?'

"Let's go to sleep so that when we wake up today will be tomorrow."

"I suppose you're wondering why I've summoned you here at 3 AM, minion." "I try not to wonder." "After crunching the numbers, I've determined we'd increase profits by being open 24/7." "We're in the suburbs. Everyone's asleep." "Not true. By being closed at 3 AM, we're missing out on the potentially-lucrative Igor the Wino clientele." "Go to the alley and give Igor a 1-for-the-price-of-2 coupon." "Very bad man."

"Goodnight, Dan, you handsome devil!"

'Mummy, can you please pull the curtain and make it dark please? I'm scared of the light...'

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

"Honey, wake up. I had that dream again where I wake up and you get angry at me for waking you up."

Meekness of Mr Pecksniff and his Charming Daughter

"Someday, son, a giant conglomerate will find a way to harness the moonlight and make us pay for it."

"I also have trouble sleeping. I don't understand why. No one I talk to seems to have any trouble falling asleep."

Thoughts of Stephen Harper...

Expired, expired, expired, expired, expired, expired.

"You could always make me laugh but you didn't."

That's a street lamp, Steve.

He's mumbling again! What do you think husbands dream about?

Tomorrow's another day, he thought, unless I get lucky and sleep right through it.

What are you doing up, mom? Big meeting tomorrow. Must be prepared. It's one a.m.! Go to bed, young lady. You need your sleep. It must be late. I heard my voice coming out of your mouth. Scary!