Late-night Philosopher Pillows

Insomnia

"I dreamed my parents were still alive."

"All my friends have either died or had a sex change."

"And remember, dear, if you want to know the time don't ask a policeman."

'Funny how the pub quiz champion can't tell what time it is'

'I'm not eating. I couldn't sleep so I decided to read.'

MAN OF THE YEAR, 'You must come here a lot.'

'It's 2 am. Do you know where you brain is?'

"The overthinker"

Sally woke up with a headache. This house didn't look familiar. There was a rug burn on her forehead. Three good reasons to quit drinking.

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

'That reminds me of the blind date I had last weekend!'

"Well did he?"

"Think about the honey."

Night-shift entrance

"Is this a bad time for our feedback meeting?"

"I believe in the carrot-and-stick approach, Dempsey."

'Mummy, can you please pull the curtain and make it dark please? I'm scared of the light...'

"Goodnight, Dan, you handsome devil!"

'I ask myself-do I really want to sleep on the edge of the bed again?'

"I suppose you're wondering why I've summoned you here at 3 AM, minion." "I try not to wonder." "After crunching the numbers, I've determined we'd increase profits by being open 24/7." "We're in the suburbs. Everyone's asleep." "Not true. By being closed at 3 AM, we're missing out on the potentially-lucrative Igor the Wino clientele." "Go to the alley and give Igor a 1-for-the-price-of-2 coupon." "Very bad man."

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

Meekness of Mr Pecksniff and his Charming Daughter

"Let's go to sleep so that when we wake up today will be tomorrow."

"Honey, wake up. I had that dream again where I wake up and you get angry at me for waking you up."

"Someday, son, a giant conglomerate will find a way to harness the moonlight and make us pay for it."

"I also have trouble sleeping. I don't understand why. No one I talk to seems to have any trouble falling asleep."

'I've turned another corner in my life.' 'One more corner and you'll be back where you started.'

Tomorrow's another day, he thought, unless I get lucky and sleep right through it.

Expired, expired, expired, expired, expired, expired.

Thoughts of Stephen Harper...

"You could always make me laugh but you didn't."

'I don't need that exercise stuff -- I cross the pain threshold just getting out of bed in the morning.'

'I don't know what's wrong with you, you seem to have celibacy on the brain!'

'I know these safety meetings tend to run very late, however... '