Late-night Philosophers Pillows

Past mistakes insomnia

"The overthinker"

Sally woke up with a headache. This house didn't look familiar. There was a rug burn on her forehead. Three good reasons to quit drinking.

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

'That reminds me of the blind date I had last weekend!'

"Well did he?"

"Think about the honey."

Night-shift entrance

"Let's go to sleep so that when we wake up today will be tomorrow."

"I suppose you're wondering why I've summoned you here at 3 AM, minion." "I try not to wonder." "After crunching the numbers, I've determined we'd increase profits by being open 24/7." "We're in the suburbs. Everyone's asleep." "Not true. By being closed at 3 AM, we're missing out on the potentially-lucrative Igor the Wino clientele." "Go to the alley and give Igor a 1-for-the-price-of-2 coupon." "Very bad man."

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

'Mummy, can you please pull the curtain and make it dark please? I'm scared of the light...'

"Honey, wake up. I had that dream again where I wake up and you get angry at me for waking you up."

'I ask myself-do I really want to sleep on the edge of the bed again?'

Meekness of Mr Pecksniff and his Charming Daughter

"Someday, son, a giant conglomerate will find a way to harness the moonlight and make us pay for it."

"I also have trouble sleeping. I don't understand why. No one I talk to seems to have any trouble falling asleep."

"You could always make me laugh but you didn't."

Tomorrow's another day, he thought, unless I get lucky and sleep right through it.

Thoughts of Stephen Harper...

Expired, expired, expired, expired, expired, expired.

'I don't need that exercise stuff -- I cross the pain threshold just getting out of bed in the morning.'

'I know these safety meetings tend to run very late, however... '

'I don't know what's wrong with you, you seem to have celibacy on the brain!'

"Wake up, baby. I just realized how my insomnia is all your fault."

"See, Timmy? No boogeymen under your bed — they're all out there."

"So this sense of failure stems from the fact that you're not catching any worms despite getting up early?"

"Ask not for whom the refrigerator hums..."

'Sometimes late at night I'm not sure the leading economic indicators know where they're going,'

"I had a dream that I was awake and trying to sleep and now I don't know what's going on."

'Monday morning feeling? But it's thursday!'

MAN OF THE YEAR, 'You must come here a lot.'

"I dreamed my parents were still alive."