Evening Philosopher Pillows

"I hate to see the evening sun go down."

"You could always make me laugh but you didn't."

Sally woke up with a headache. This house didn't look familiar. There was a rug burn on her forehead. Three good reasons to quit drinking.

"The overthinker"

'That reminds me of the blind date I had last weekend!'

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

"Well did he?"

"Well, he looks alive as of 10 minutes ago, but the stream is frozen."

"So that's where you were last night."

"Think about the honey."

Using Frank Drake's famous equation, Betty calculates the probability of finding intelligent life on a Saturday night.

"I believe in the carrot-and-stick approach, Dempsey."

'Mummy, can you please pull the curtain and make it dark please? I'm scared of the light...'

"Honey, wake up. I had that dream again where I wake up and you get angry at me for waking you up."

'I ask myself-do I really want to sleep on the edge of the bed again?'

"Let's go to sleep so that when we wake up today will be tomorrow."

"Someday, son, a giant conglomerate will find a way to harness the moonlight and make us pay for it."

Everything opens up as a new day begins.

"Sorry no half portions - at least that's the quantum theory."

Hi, I work at the admissions office of the local university. If you could change the world in three days, what would you do?

"I also have trouble sleeping. I don't understand why. No one I talk to seems to have any trouble falling asleep."

Tomorrow's another day, he thought, unless I get lucky and sleep right through it.

He's mumbling again! What do you think husbands dream about?

Expired, expired, expired, expired, expired, expired.

Thoughts of Stephen Harper...

That's a street lamp, Steve.

The End is Relative

'I don't need that exercise stuff -- I cross the pain threshold just getting out of bed in the morning.'

'I don't know what's wrong with you, you seem to have celibacy on the brain!'

"I swear, Eddie, you ought to be on with Bill Moyers."

Siggy

'We tried hunting and we tried gathering, but now we usually eat out.'

That's not quite what I meant by a 'balanced diet'..

'I waste Sunday worrying about Monday, so I compensate by making Friday my Saturday.'

"See, Timmy? No boogeymen under your bed — they're all out there."