Evening Philosopher Pillows

"I hate to see the evening sun go down."

"You could always make me laugh but you didn't."

"The overthinker"

Sally woke up with a headache. This house didn't look familiar. There was a rug burn on her forehead. Three good reasons to quit drinking.

'That reminds me of the blind date I had last weekend!'

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

"Well did he?"

"Well, he looks alive as of 10 minutes ago, but the stream is frozen."

"Think about the honey."

"So that's where you were last night."

Using Frank Drake's famous equation, Betty calculates the probability of finding intelligent life on a Saturday night.

"I believe in the carrot-and-stick approach, Dempsey."

'Mummy, can you please pull the curtain and make it dark please? I'm scared of the light...'

'I ask myself-do I really want to sleep on the edge of the bed again?'

"Let's go to sleep so that when we wake up today will be tomorrow."

"Honey, wake up. I had that dream again where I wake up and you get angry at me for waking you up."

"Someday, son, a giant conglomerate will find a way to harness the moonlight and make us pay for it."

"Sorry no half portions - at least that's the quantum theory."

Hi, I work at the admissions office of the local university. If you could change the world in three days, what would you do?

"I also have trouble sleeping. I don't understand why. No one I talk to seems to have any trouble falling asleep."

Tomorrow's another day, he thought, unless I get lucky and sleep right through it.

The End is Relative

Expired, expired, expired, expired, expired, expired.

Thoughts of Stephen Harper...

'I don't need that exercise stuff -- I cross the pain threshold just getting out of bed in the morning.'

'I don't know what's wrong with you, you seem to have celibacy on the brain!'

'I waste Sunday worrying about Monday, so I compensate by making Friday my Saturday.'

"Would it have killed you to shave first?"

'We tried hunting and we tried gathering, but now we usually eat out.'

That's not quite what I meant by a 'balanced diet'..

"See, Timmy? No boogeymen under your bed — they're all out there."

"I swear, Eddie, you ought to be on with Bill Moyers."

Siggy

"But I told everybody at the dinner party, your honor, so how could it still be insider information?"