Nightclub Historian T-Shirts

Jazz quartet, piano, bass, sax and drums

Dance.

"The club scene is really changing."

'Mmm … and he's ringing wet too. I just can't resist the smell of a wet dog.'

"The next song is for all you unreconstructed commies, who are still in love with their tractors."

Early Night Club

'When you're swimming at night and something gives you a bite, it's a Moray! You think it's a seal but it's really an eel, it's a Moray!'

Rooster DJ scratches records during party.

"Now don't let your concentration move from my hands and the cards. . ."

"Would you like to dance?"

"At the last minute, his personal physician always intervenes."

'Over on stage number two is the lovely, succulent, Misty Flatulence!'

Early man was a hunter-gatherer!

Math Lounge

'Eughh! I've trodden in some celebrity's dog.'

'Dang! That was a brand new bag!'

Velocirappers

Cybergoths.

"We'll turn the place into a nightclub, where you can really let down your hair."

'Ok Fellas let's see some I.D.'

"Statistically speaking, there's got to be at least one woman in there who's looking for the awkward sensitive type."

"Sure her act is legal in a nightclub - but she was doing it in the street."

'Watch out -she goes for anything in trousers.'

Sympathy Cards for everyday use.

'So - what's your problem?'

Death Metal Nite.

Lap Line-Dancing Club

"And being her agent does pay pretty well. So, what night is wet-t-shirt night anyhow...?"

Dance Enthusiasts.

'Well hello there...Care to JOIN me?'

'I'm sorry, but I only dance with podiatrists.'

Bouncer picks out good-looking woman in queue for heaven. Man says: 'This, I did not expect.'

"This next song is for everyone who has ever been incarcerated."

"Do you have any idea who I am?"

'So-what's your problem?'