Nightclub Historian Gifts

Cab Calloway Swings

Jazz quartet, piano, bass, sax and drums

Dance.

"The club scene is really changing."

'Mmm … and he's ringing wet too. I just can't resist the smell of a wet dog.'

"The next song is for all you unreconstructed commies, who are still in love with their tractors."

Early Night Club

'When you're swimming at night and something gives you a bite, it's a Moray! You think it's a seal but it's really an eel, it's a Moray!'

Rooster DJ scratches records during party.

"Now don't let your concentration move from my hands and the cards. . ."

"Would you like to dance?"

'Over on stage number two is the lovely, succulent, Misty Flatulence!'

Early man was a hunter-gatherer!

"At the last minute, his personal physician always intervenes."

'Eughh! I've trodden in some celebrity's dog.'

Math Lounge

'Dang! That was a brand new bag!'

"Sure her act is legal in a nightclub - but she was doing it in the street."

'Ok Fellas let's see some I.D.'

Velocirappers

'Watch out -she goes for anything in trousers.'

"Statistically speaking, there's got to be at least one woman in there who's looking for the awkward sensitive type."

Cybergoths.

"We'll turn the place into a nightclub, where you can really let down your hair."

Sympathy Cards for everyday use.

'So - what's your problem?'

Dance Enthusiasts.

Lap Line-Dancing Club

'Well hello there...Care to JOIN me?'

Death Metal Nite.

"And being her agent does pay pretty well. So, what night is wet-t-shirt night anyhow...?"

'I'm sorry, but I only dance with podiatrists.'

Bouncer picks out good-looking woman in queue for heaven. Man says: 'This, I did not expect.'

"This next song is for everyone who has ever been incarcerated."

"Do you have any idea who I am?"