New Beginning Enthusiasts Gifts

"Let's tow the trailer to a new state and make a fresh start."

Thomas Mann.

Nathaniel Hawthorne

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

Television Readers.

Welcome to the Team

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

Silence of the Chickens...

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

Characters jumping out of a book.

'Stuck on a desert island, in the middle of the ocean, with only a palm tree for company, it's a bloody joke.'

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

Iris Murdoch

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

"Regarding the plot of your novel ... what on earth were you thinking?"

My Literary Influences

'I chose my field on what would put the most impressive initials after my name.'

"There are those who write books to be read and other who write novels for bookshelves."

"I'm not angry, but in the future I’d prefer it if you chewed up her Sue Graftons, not my P.G. Wodehouses."

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

Tolstoy and Dostoevsky plan a collaboration - 'War and Punishment'... it'll make us a bundle.

Editor.

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

'Is this your first book launch?'

"Elon Musk is buying rope and walnuts."

"The first day of school. Yes sir. A day to make new friends. A day to mark new beginnings. A day to discover everyone but you has grown three feet over the summer."

'The only problem is they're glued together. So I can't see the watch...or change the dead calculator batteries, but it's guaranteed for life...'

Temporary and Permanent Writer's Block

"Tom's writing has been going really well! He's written over 200,000 words. Now he just needs to work out what order to put them in!"

'Tommy's book reports are like no other.'