New Beginnings Enthusiasts Gifts

I love the optimism on new year's day! Yeah, breaking the seal on a new year is link unpacking a new gadget. It's all shiny and it seems like in some way, big or small, your life is going to get better

"It's from HQ, they're replacing me with a younger man!"

"New year...New me...New you."

The fate of the emigrant

Road sign: "Good Start, but you've still got a ways to go."

'No. no. When your wife asked you to change the baby, she meant the diaper.'

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

"A sentimental journey of a thousand miles begins with the first martini."

'Hey, big deal! We're all new kids on the block!'

"Hey, just wanted to say bye again, guys, I'm off to join the circus."

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

So You've Cloned Yourself

"The first day of school. Yes sir. A day to make new friends. A day to mark new beginnings. A day to discover everyone but you has grown three feet over the summer."

Great doing business with you. I look forward to next year.

'Adam seems depressed - He needs camaraderie or something.'

"Don't you worry about me. I always land on my feet."

'I've been sitting on this mountain for 25 years, and what I've learned is that true happiness can only be found in the soothing relief of a fast-acting hemorrhoid cream!'

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

"Give her some space! She's overdosing on baby talk!"

"Hon, I'm taking your advice and starting a new chapter."

'Look, several prisoners in my client's facility have reported finding God in their cells! Yet you claim you've never broken in one time?'

The Inner Dog.

"Oh, don't mind us... We just want to make sure it's really dead."

Off to a bad start.

"Today is the day I start the new me!"

Happy Days are here again

"This little piggy goes to the market. . ."

Springtime rabbits.

The New Age Dentist.

No, no, don't tell me … you lost weight? You cut your hair? Wait, did you used to wear glasses?

'This may be the first day of the rest of my life, but I've decided to wait for the second day.'

Been there. Done that. (Man stands between two doors.)

Janus 2021

At the Brew-haha Comedy Club

"You get a white robe, a halo, wings, and of course, free WIFI."