New Life Enthusiast Gifts

Baby.

Reach for the Star.

"The first day of school. Yes sir. A day to make new friends. A day to mark new beginnings. A day to discover everyone but you has grown three feet over the summer."

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

'I've been sitting on this mountain for 25 years, and what I've learned is that true happiness can only be found in the soothing relief of a fast-acting hemorrhoid cream!'

'If we respect each other, contraception makes sense!'

"Hi, I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn."

"I wasn't copying off others. I was just crowdsourcing the answers."

"It was meant to be a surprise romantic dinner for two, but to cut a long story short, it's been a recipe for disaster."

'Life is a precious thing, but simply breathing and existing isn't living...the end is inevitable for everything...I'm afraid that time has come for you, dear. I have to pull the plug...'

'Hmmphhhh ... High on Life. Now that's something the government ought to regulate.'

The Inner Dog.

"As for the meaning of life, it doesn't have to suck."

"It's from HQ, they're replacing me with a younger man!"

The New Age Dentist.

"Estoy aqui abajo!" ( I'm down here!)

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. That's a relief! How much can they expect out of your on your first day?

"Malachite promotes inner peace, hope and security, but I can’t say for certain it will help you put up with your boss."

"Good grief, Bradbury! How long have you been working at home?"

'I'm old, bald and fat, but at least I'm not boring!'

"How does one experience the ultimate selfie? Swallow your cell phone."

First pregnancy vs. second pregnancy.

"We have box shapes for every commitment level."

"Well, it's funny, Sid. Every time I've got onr foot in the grave, something interesting happens, so I pull it back out again!"

"Look at it this way - the more birthdays you have, the longer you live!"

The News in Capsule Form.

Gigolo Diary

"Our Trash Dash order is on its way."

Garden of Earthly Delights

Life is about the chase, not the ball. Now go get it!

New Age Pit Bull

Construction zone ends. Please resume following your bliss.

'Forget the birds and the bees. I downloaded that from the Internet. Tell me about day trading.'

"I can't wait 'til we're so close we don't have to talk."