Modern Life Enthusiasts Gifts

Baby in carrier is watching TV on dad's back.

"How does one experience the ultimate selfie? Swallow your cell phone."

"Our Trash Dash order is on its way."

"I suppose owning everything in the world gives him a certain cachet."

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

T. S. Eliot Meets Beavis And Butthead

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

"I couldn't find the phone charger, but I was able to locate all the mouses the kids lost over the years."

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

"Teenagers! Everyone try to look cool!"

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

"Hi, I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn."

"Why would I want to see anything that far away from my phone?"

'Mom, can you tell me about the days before Pilates and Latte's?'

"I wasn't copying off others. I was just crowdsourcing the answers."

'I've been watching TV all my life. I was born cable ready.'

"The coffee is free, but now we rent the tables."

"Good grief, Bradbury! How long have you been working at home?"

Drones deliver gold, frankincense and myrrh to baby Jesus.

'Look, dear. Our printer's first words.'

"We even tried cyber sex, but the line was always busy."

Self checkout and 'selfie' check out at a store.

The News in Capsule Form.

Garden of Earthly Delights

'Forget the birds and the bees. I downloaded that from the Internet. Tell me about day trading.'

"My daughter is a modern baby. She doesn't cry when she is hungry...she texts me."

'You can't tell me what to do! You're not my 'ruler'! Heck, you're not even my real dad!'

New York Man

'I usually don't do online dating.'

"Hang on a minute! #Totesinlabour!"

"Guess which one I made with a 3-D printer."

Landmark selfie

'This place called Hell ... does it have a website address?'