Ordinary Life Enthusiast Gifts

Things-could-be-worse-go-round

Reach for the Star.

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

'If we respect each other, contraception makes sense!'

"Hi, I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn."

"I wasn't copying off others. I was just crowdsourcing the answers."

"It was meant to be a surprise romantic dinner for two, but to cut a long story short, it's been a recipe for disaster."

'Life is a precious thing, but simply breathing and existing isn't living...the end is inevitable for everything...I'm afraid that time has come for you, dear. I have to pull the plug...'

'Hmmphhhh ... High on Life. Now that's something the government ought to regulate.'

'Maybe we could hold the wedding on 'Casual Friday'.'

"Estoy aqui abajo!" ( I'm down here!)

"Good grief, Bradbury! How long have you been working at home?"

"How does one experience the ultimate selfie? Swallow your cell phone."

'I'm old, bald and fat, but at least I'm not boring!'

"Well, it's funny, Sid. Every time I've got onr foot in the grave, something interesting happens, so I pull it back out again!"

The News in Capsule Form.

"We have box shapes for every commitment level."

"Look at it this way - the more birthdays you have, the longer you live!"

Garden of Earthly Delights

"Our Trash Dash order is on its way."

'Phys Ed -- but I minored in philosophy.'

'Forget the birds and the bees. I downloaded that from the Internet. Tell me about day trading.'

"My parents are nice, school's going well, and I'm basically a good kid. Unfortunately, there's no money or fame in being normal."

"I can't wait 'til we're so close we don't have to talk."

'Short brown hair. Very cuddly, good in bed.'

Another Hot and Heavy Night of Explaining

'Of course you're my first - Why do you men always ask that question?'

Man and woman with laundry

A bear reads 'Eat Poop Sleep' on the beach

New York Man

Baby in carrier is watching TV on dad's back.