Fresh Start Enthusiast Gifts

"OK, I think we're pretty much back to square one. You can stop now."

'All in favor of turning our back on the past say ‘aye'.'

2020

"Weird, ever since New Years none of my friends have been texting me."

"I feel like a new man!"

"They say walking can change your life. Bye!"

Old Year Arrest

"I haven't change my New Year's resolutions, just the year I'll do them."

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

"This year I resolve to embrace change."

'AAAARGH!...Get it off! Whatever the hell it is...Get it off!'

Once upon a time and a half. Buick and the Beast.

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'

"Can I talk to someone who knows something?"

"The first day of school. Yes sir. A day to make new friends. A day to mark new beginnings. A day to discover everyone but you has grown three feet over the summer."

Nice park. . .

"Let's go to sleep so that when we wake up today will be tomorrow."

'Nice smile.'

A man drives a car with the word "LAWYER" painted backwards on the front hood so that it can be read in the rear-view mirrors of other cars.

"You have $3,098 in the bank? I'm impressed! So...do you think about investing it?"

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. That's a relief! How much can they expect out of your on your first day?

The average taxpayer will ultimately embrace the auto industry bailout. Hell, we sold em all that useless undercoating for all these years!

"Yes, I do know how to light a fire with two sticks... Provided one of them is a match."

'Things are going from bad to worse in the auto industry.'

"Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life."

'It's ok, sir, we'll put you in touch with one of our grief counselors.'

QUICK OIL CHANGE & FLU SHOT

"Often, it's sullen and withdrawn, and then, suddenly, it becomes hostile and vengeful."

Car dealers free hotdogs - "The best I can do is mustard and relish, ketchup and onions are optional."

2020

"You seem like just the kind of guy who would be right at home in one of these fjord explorers."