Navy Humorist Gifts

'Tell Tale' - The Drawbacks of Over-Tight Ponytails

Navy Walrus Program.

Cat in a tank...

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

Sir Joseph Porter, KCB, First Lord of the Admiralty HMS Pinafore

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"No, you dismantle your nuclear arsenal first."

'At ease, soldier.'

Japanese Whaling

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

Royal Bear Force - "Honey at 10 o'clock."

Well yes, I am a Blue Whale, but that doesn't mean I'm depressed...

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

"Did you call for a Medic?"

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

Late Night with Patrick O'Brian

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

'...and this is the Mess.'

'Does my bum look big in this?'

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

French Army knife

Walking the Plank.

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

Man painting MOM on boat

'At last! Some decent kit.'

Banting in the Yeomanry

'It's been five years since leaving Iraq and I'm still getting the sand out my ears.'