Naval Humorists Gifts

Shark thinks: 'White meat or dark...'

'A Vice Admiral? Lot of vice in the Navy is there?'

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

A huge shark is about to attack a small fishing boat and one of the guys is saying 'Listen... there's that creepy music again' as an orchestra of fish, crabs and an octopus play the theme from Jaws.

Sir Joseph Porter, KCB, First Lord of the Admiralty HMS Pinafore

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

Japanese Whaling

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

Well yes, I am a Blue Whale, but that doesn't mean I'm depressed...

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

Man painting MOM on boat

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

Walking the Plank.

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

'We're drifting apart.'

"Hey wader, there's a fly in my sloop"

'That's his new trophy fishwife.'

'I got one this small.'

Fish near-death experiences.

So, how are you planning on eating that?

Fisherman tricks a visitor into thinking a huge buoy is a fishing float for giant fish.