Naval Humor Lover Gifts

A mine in a bowl of soup

Sir Joseph Porter, KCB, First Lord of the Admiralty HMS Pinafore

"Ticket and passport, please."

'How long have you operated multi-engines, sailor?'

Tugboat tugging Iceberg

'It followed me home, can I keep it?'

'You should never wear a green parrot with a blue suit.'

"Don't trust his tail—I know a scallywag when I see one."

"Let’s draw him closer to New Bedford — we’ll get cell service there and Instagram the heck out of this!"

Dead Men Tell No Tales.

Fisherman selling sardines in oil, haddock in oil, cod in oil etc..

'I told you we should have unionized.'

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

"It was an accident! How many times must I apologize?"

'I think we should wake the Captain!'

"Oh. . . What shall we do with a sunken trailer?"

"Isn't it obvious how he got the job? He 'suctioned' up."

Sailor's pipe is a ship's funnel.

"Damn it, doesn't anybody on this ship have depth perception?"

"Have you got an immoral compass? We're looking for a night of fun!"

Captain Eddie's New Boat: 'First of all, Eddie, most people don't usually lose theah boats...'

'It's bad news for the cabin boy.'

'Oh no! Not 'Barnacle Bill the Sailor', again.'

'I just think it might be a bit too jolly for the captain's taste.'

"After the life he's had, he just said 'What the hell'..."

'I wonder if it was such a good idea to outsource all the staff?'

'Petty Officer why does Jenkins keep shouting 'ice cream' from the lookout? Is he drunk? Put him on a charge when he comes down.'

'Long periods of inactivity are not good for a pirate like you, Cap'n. You're taking root.'

"Rats, we can't bow ride this one: it's a hovercraft..."