Naval Humor Enthusiast Gifts

'I get sea-sick, I can't swim but I rather fancy a little desk job like yours.'

Late Night with Patrick O'Brian

"This is a submarine sailor. We don't have an 'open door' policy."

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

Sir Joseph Porter, KCB, First Lord of the Admiralty HMS Pinafore

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

"I like my vodka like I like my ships - on the rocks!"

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"Ticket and passport, please."

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

'How long have you operated multi-engines, sailor?'

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

Tugboat tugging Iceberg

Man painting MOM on boat

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

Walking the Plank.

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

'It followed me home, can I keep it?'

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

'I told you we should have unionized.'

"Don't trust his tail—I know a scallywag when I see one."

"Let’s draw him closer to New Bedford — we’ll get cell service there and Instagram the heck out of this!"

'You should never wear a green parrot with a blue suit.'

Fisherman selling sardines in oil, haddock in oil, cod in oil etc..

'We're drifting apart.'

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

"Hey wader, there's a fly in my sloop"

'That's his new trophy fishwife.'

'I think we should wake the Captain!'

"Nope, not a dock! Not a diving board! Guess again!"