Naval Humor Enthusiast Pillows

'I get sea-sick, I can't swim but I rather fancy a little desk job like yours.'

"This is a submarine sailor. We don't have an 'open door' policy."

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

Sir Joseph Porter, KCB, First Lord of the Admiralty HMS Pinafore

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"I like my vodka like I like my ships - on the rocks!"

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

'How long have you operated multi-engines, sailor?'

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"Ticket and passport, please."

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

Tugboat tugging Iceberg

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

Walking the Plank.

Man painting MOM on boat

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

'It followed me home, can I keep it?'

'I told you we should have unionized.'

'You should never wear a green parrot with a blue suit.'

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

Fisherman selling sardines in oil, haddock in oil, cod in oil etc..

'We're drifting apart.'

"Don't trust his tail—I know a scallywag when I see one."

"Let’s draw him closer to New Bedford — we’ll get cell service there and Instagram the heck out of this!"

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

"Hey wader, there's a fly in my sloop"

"It was an accident! How many times must I apologize?"

Fish near-death experiences.

'I think we should wake the Captain!'

'That's his new trophy fishwife.'