Naval Humor Fan Pillows

Submarine on the Beach.

Sir Joseph Porter, KCB, First Lord of the Admiralty HMS Pinafore

'How long have you operated multi-engines, sailor?'

"Ticket and passport, please."

Tugboat tugging Iceberg

'It followed me home, can I keep it?'

"Don't trust his tail—I know a scallywag when I see one."

'You should never wear a green parrot with a blue suit.'

Fisherman selling sardines in oil, haddock in oil, cod in oil etc..

"Let’s draw him closer to New Bedford — we’ll get cell service there and Instagram the heck out of this!"

'I told you we should have unionized.'

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

'I think we should wake the Captain!'

"Oh. . . What shall we do with a sunken trailer?"

"Damn it, doesn't anybody on this ship have depth perception?"

Sailor's pipe is a ship's funnel.

'Oh no! Not 'Barnacle Bill the Sailor', again.'

'I just think it might be a bit too jolly for the captain's taste.'

"Gosh and I thought it was a barbershop."

'I wonder if it was such a good idea to outsource all the staff?'

Pirate Doctor

"After the life he's had, he just said 'What the hell'..."

'Long periods of inactivity are not good for a pirate like you, Cap'n. You're taking root.'

'Petty Officer why does Jenkins keep shouting 'ice cream' from the lookout? Is he drunk? Put him on a charge when he comes down.'

"Rats, we can't bow ride this one: it's a hovercraft..."

"Seriously, Mittens, let's let this one go."

"Serious drinkers recommend hanging on to the maraschino."

'Garrhh, Cap'n, it's health and safety gone mad.'

Pants on the mast