Naval Humor Aficionado Pillows

'Everybody...keep quiet and stay away from the windows - it's a Jehovah's Witness!'

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

Sir Joseph Porter, KCB, First Lord of the Admiralty HMS Pinafore

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"I like my vodka like I like my ships - on the rocks!"

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

'How long have you operated multi-engines, sailor?'

"Ticket and passport, please."

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

Tugboat tugging Iceberg

Man painting MOM on boat

Late Night with Patrick O'Brian

Walking the Plank.

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

'It followed me home, can I keep it?'

'We're drifting apart.'

"Don't trust his tail—I know a scallywag when I see one."

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

Fisherman selling sardines in oil, haddock in oil, cod in oil etc..

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

'I told you we should have unionized.'

'You should never wear a green parrot with a blue suit.'

"Let’s draw him closer to New Bedford — we’ll get cell service there and Instagram the heck out of this!"

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

"Hey wader, there's a fly in my sloop"

'That's his new trophy fishwife.'

"It was an accident! How many times must I apologize?"

Fish near-death experiences.

"Nope, not a dock! Not a diving board! Guess again!"