Naval Comedy Aficionado Pillows

"Pardon me, but we ran out of gas. Can you tow us into shore?"

Sir Joseph Porter, KCB, First Lord of the Admiralty HMS Pinafore

A huge shark is about to attack a small fishing boat and one of the guys is saying 'Listen... there's that creepy music again' as an orchestra of fish, crabs and an octopus play the theme from Jaws.

"Ticket and passport, please."

'How long have you operated multi-engines, sailor?'

Tugboat tugging Iceberg

Late Night with Patrick O'Brian

'It followed me home, can I keep it?'

'You should never wear a green parrot with a blue suit.'

Fisherman selling sardines in oil, haddock in oil, cod in oil etc..

"Let’s draw him closer to New Bedford — we’ll get cell service there and Instagram the heck out of this!"

"Don't trust his tail—I know a scallywag when I see one."

'I told you we should have unionized.'

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

'I think we should wake the Captain!'

"Oh. . . What shall we do with a sunken trailer?"

"Damn it, doesn't anybody on this ship have depth perception?"

Sailor's pipe is a ship's funnel.

'Oh no! Not 'Barnacle Bill the Sailor', again.'

The guardrail brings it up to code.

The skipper never wears a hat that fits. He's always been afraid of cap-sizing!

"Have you got an immoral compass? We're looking for a night of fun!"

'For heaven's sake; Mrs Van Rensselaer, let go!'

'I just think it might be a bit too jolly for the captain's taste.'

'Long periods of inactivity are not good for a pirate like you, Cap'n. You're taking root.'

'Petty Officer why does Jenkins keep shouting 'ice cream' from the lookout? Is he drunk? Put him on a charge when he comes down.'

"After the life he's had, he just said 'What the hell'..."

"Stop repeating everything I say birdbrain!"

Yeah, well, hindsight is 20/0.

' You'll have to come see my weekend place in Cornwall.'

'I wonder if it was such a good idea to outsource all the staff?'

"Rats, we can't bow ride this one: it's a hovercraft..."

Pirate Doctor

"Seriously, Mittens, let's let this one go."

'Garrhh, Cap'n, it's health and safety gone mad.'