Naval Comedy Aficionado Pillows

"Pardon me, but we ran out of gas. Can you tow us into shore?"

A huge shark is about to attack a small fishing boat and one of the guys is saying 'Listen... there's that creepy music again' as an orchestra of fish, crabs and an octopus play the theme from Jaws.

Sir Joseph Porter, KCB, First Lord of the Admiralty HMS Pinafore

'How long have you operated multi-engines, sailor?'

"Ticket and passport, please."

Tugboat tugging Iceberg

'It followed me home, can I keep it?'

"Let’s draw him closer to New Bedford — we’ll get cell service there and Instagram the heck out of this!"

"Don't trust his tail—I know a scallywag when I see one."

'I told you we should have unionized.'

'You should never wear a green parrot with a blue suit.'

Fisherman selling sardines in oil, haddock in oil, cod in oil etc..

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

'I think we should wake the Captain!'

"Oh. . . What shall we do with a sunken trailer?"

"Damn it, doesn't anybody on this ship have depth perception?"

Sailor's pipe is a ship's funnel.

"Have you got an immoral compass? We're looking for a night of fun!"

'Oh no! Not 'Barnacle Bill the Sailor', again.'

'For heaven's sake; Mrs Van Rensselaer, let go!'

'I just think it might be a bit too jolly for the captain's taste.'

"After the life he's had, he just said 'What the hell'..."

Pirate Doctor

'I wonder if it was such a good idea to outsource all the staff?'

'Petty Officer why does Jenkins keep shouting 'ice cream' from the lookout? Is he drunk? Put him on a charge when he comes down.'

'Long periods of inactivity are not good for a pirate like you, Cap'n. You're taking root.'

"Rats, we can't bow ride this one: it's a hovercraft..."

"Seriously, Mittens, let's let this one go."

Pants on the mast

'Garrhh, Cap'n, it's health and safety gone mad.'