Naval Humor Fan Gifts

Submarine on the Beach.

Sir Joseph Porter, KCB, First Lord of the Admiralty HMS Pinafore

"Ticket and passport, please."

'How long have you operated multi-engines, sailor?'

Tugboat tugging Iceberg

Late Night with Patrick O'Brian

'It followed me home, can I keep it?'

"Let’s draw him closer to New Bedford — we’ll get cell service there and Instagram the heck out of this!"

Fisherman selling sardines in oil, haddock in oil, cod in oil etc..

'I told you we should have unionized.'

'You should never wear a green parrot with a blue suit.'

"Don't trust his tail—I know a scallywag when I see one."

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

'I think we should wake the Captain!'

"Oh. . . What shall we do with a sunken trailer?"

"Damn it, doesn't anybody on this ship have depth perception?"

Sailor's pipe is a ship's funnel.

"You've taken some creative liberties, Noah."

The skipper never wears a hat that fits. He's always been afraid of cap-sizing!

The guardrail brings it up to code.

'Oh no! Not 'Barnacle Bill the Sailor', again.'

'I just think it might be a bit too jolly for the captain's taste.'

'Long periods of inactivity are not good for a pirate like you, Cap'n. You're taking root.'

' You'll have to come see my weekend place in Cornwall.'

'Petty Officer why does Jenkins keep shouting 'ice cream' from the lookout? Is he drunk? Put him on a charge when he comes down.'

"Stop repeating everything I say birdbrain!"

Yeah, well, hindsight is 20/0.

"After the life he's had, he just said 'What the hell'..."

'I wonder if it was such a good idea to outsource all the staff?'

"Rats, we can't bow ride this one: it's a hovercraft..."

Pirate Doctor

"Serious drinkers recommend hanging on to the maraschino."

"Seriously, Mittens, let's let this one go."

"Gosh and I thought it was a barbershop."

'Garrhh, Cap'n, it's health and safety gone mad.'