Navy Humor Lovers Gifts

'Egads! I must have been sick last night.'

Sir Joseph Porter, KCB, First Lord of the Admiralty HMS Pinafore

'How long have you operated multi-engines, sailor?'

"Ticket and passport, please."

Tugboat tugging Iceberg

'It followed me home, can I keep it?'

'Me? Morale Officer? --Why do you always pick on ME?'

Ad Valorem

Fisherman selling sardines in oil, haddock in oil, cod in oil etc..

'You should never wear a green parrot with a blue suit.'

"Don't trust his tail—I know a scallywag when I see one."

"Let’s draw him closer to New Bedford — we’ll get cell service there and Instagram the heck out of this!"

'I told you we should have unionized.'

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

'I think we should wake the Captain!'

'It's only a slug Norman.'

"Oh. . . What shall we do with a sunken trailer?"

'I keep yelling at my privates.'

Sailor's pipe is a ship's funnel.

"Damn it, doesn't anybody on this ship have depth perception?"

Introducing: Eye-Quit. The Nicotine Patch for Pirates...

'Oh no! Not 'Barnacle Bill the Sailor', again.'

"So...were they open to negotiations?"

'We had no idea you were coming' - ACME Stealth Missile

'I just think it might be a bit too jolly for the captain's taste.'

'I wonder if it was such a good idea to outsource all the staff?'

'March up that hill! And smile once in awhile, will you!'

"Seriously, Mittens, let's let this one go."

'Petty Officer why does Jenkins keep shouting 'ice cream' from the lookout? Is he drunk? Put him on a charge when he comes down.'

'Completed the pyramid, eh? Now take it down to the ground.'

"Rats, we can't bow ride this one: it's a hovercraft..."