Naval History Humorist Gifts

Sir Joseph Porter, KCB, First Lord of the Admiralty HMS Pinafore

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

Japanese Whaling

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

Well yes, I am a Blue Whale, but that doesn't mean I'm depressed...

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

'How long have you operated multi-engines, sailor?'

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"Ticket and passport, please."

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

Tugboat tugging Iceberg

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

Man painting MOM on boat

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

Walking the Plank.

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

Lighthouse powered by batteries.

Late Night with Patrick O'Brian

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

'It followed me home, can I keep it?'

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

"Let’s draw him closer to New Bedford — we’ll get cell service there and Instagram the heck out of this!"

'You should never wear a green parrot with a blue suit.'

Fisherman selling sardines in oil, haddock in oil, cod in oil etc..

'I told you we should have unionized.'

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

'We're drifting apart.'

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'