Naval History Humorist Gifts

Sir Joseph Porter, KCB, First Lord of the Admiralty HMS Pinafore

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

Japanese Whaling

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

Well yes, I am a Blue Whale, but that doesn't mean I'm depressed...

"Ticket and passport, please."

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

'How long have you operated multi-engines, sailor?'

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

Tugboat tugging Iceberg

Man painting MOM on boat

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

Walking the Plank.

Lighthouse powered by batteries.

'It followed me home, can I keep it?'

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

'I told you we should have unionized.'

'We're drifting apart.'

"Let’s draw him closer to New Bedford — we’ll get cell service there and Instagram the heck out of this!"

Fisherman selling sardines in oil, haddock in oil, cod in oil etc..

'You should never wear a green parrot with a blue suit.'

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

"Hey wader, there's a fly in my sloop"