Naval Humorists Pillows

Shark thinks: 'White meat or dark...'

'A Vice Admiral? Lot of vice in the Navy is there?'

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

Sir Joseph Porter, KCB, First Lord of the Admiralty HMS Pinafore

A huge shark is about to attack a small fishing boat and one of the guys is saying 'Listen... there's that creepy music again' as an orchestra of fish, crabs and an octopus play the theme from Jaws.

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

Japanese Whaling

Well yes, I am a Blue Whale, but that doesn't mean I'm depressed...

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

Walking the Plank.

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

Late Night with Patrick O'Brian

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

Man painting MOM on boat

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

'We're drifting apart.'

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

"Hey wader, there's a fly in my sloop"

"Nope, not a dock! Not a diving board! Guess again!"

Fish near-death experiences.

'That's his new trophy fishwife.'

'I got one this small.'

"Ah, sweatpants."

Contended beaver nurses a full stomach having eaten the captains wooden leg.