Navigational Novice Gifts

"Admit it, you're lost!"

Next time, bring a map.

Man painting over a 'You are here' sign.

"First time pruning?"

Please buzz off. That's my flower!

"Yes, alright! I know it's a small mountain... I'm only a novice oracle."

'That's hydroplaning for ya.'

"Gee, I'm awfully sorry!"

'I did not say there was a miss in the motor, I said the motor was missing.'

"I'm surprised, Caswell. I thought you were a happy camper."

'I thought I knew what a cubit was.'

'It doesn't show it on this map....'

"This is the last time I let you handle our vacation plans, you cheapskate."

"I know you hate being told what to do, but it's the GPS. That's its job."

"This is my first book, but if I like it I may buy another in the near future."

"The fact that I have multiple personalities and none of them are computer literate is depressing."

Global Positioning System - ERROR Your big fat head is in the way

'I take it this is your first big game hunt?!!'

"I packed the cooking gear like you told me, Dad...where do I plug it in?"

'Damn ! I don't have a clue where we are.'

'Alex we talked about this, you can't bring live things home from the lake. . . no buts, they don't want to leave the lake. Let your little friends go.'

"Just great...on my first day on the job."

My First Boat

"Sorry Capt., but it's a pretty bad termite infestation..."

"Here's a good spot, Hon."

'Word came from on high that managers had to develop their IT skills...'

'Well we don't have to worry about paying for the boat anymore.This is our final notice.'

"Beginner's luck."

'You've never actually been on a tiger hunt...have you?'

'1805 - aboard HMS. Victory - Captain Hardy falls for the old "no tongues" promise.

“It’s ok to leave the lid up at home but not on a submarine.”

'I hired a local guide. He knows every square inch of this stadium...'

'Ere Bert, what do I do with a lady who wants an each way bet on the boat race?'

'Your father spent so much time building the ark he didn't have time to study navigation.'

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'